Ready for my close up

You ugly, mass of non-biodegradable petroleum - You are my enemy

I would like to share with everyone that my Uncle Tseming also has a blog. Unlike this blog, he actually has some interesting and insightful things to share with the world. My Uncle Tseming is uber smart and devastatingly handsome. My Auntie Tinling enriches the world by her very existence. Uncle Tseming and Auntie Tinling, the two wonderful people that they are, share my indignation of the plastic palm tree. (ahem...If Uncle Tseming and Auntie Tinling are reading, this is a not so subtle hint to take the plastic palm tree out of my habitat the next time you visit.)

Crabbies of the World- UNITE!!!

To all the other crabbies out there with plastic palm trees cluttering your home, I feel your frustration. I do. I really really do. I now ask you to join me in drafting the Universal Declaration of Crabby Rights. I propose that the first article contain a complete ban on plastic palm trees. Brothers and Sisters, are you with me?! Down with the plastic palm tree!!

In Solidarity,

Yamazaki

Love me, Love me, Say that you love me...

I've got The Cardigans' Lovefool song stuck in my head. I'm sitting in my water feeling pretty lazy this morning with a depressing song stuck in my head. I haven't eaten much because the pellets they feed me stank. Who can eat that crap? Hmm...what shall I do today? Blow some more bubbles? Stare at that damn plastic plam tree?

dum dee dum dum...

I'm so bored. I wish I had some goldfish to snap at or something. What's up with the plastic palm tree in my habitat? Am I supposed to think it's real? Am I expected to lounge under its shade? Is it supposed to make me feel more "at home"? I'm from JAPAAAAN!!!! We don't have stinkin plam trees in Japan!

C'mon.

You people insult me.

Introducing Yamazaki

Hello Everyone,

My name is Yamazaki and I am crab. My family rescued me from being fried alive in hot oil from a tempura bar in downtown Los Angeles. I was born in Japan and had a nice life there but then someone put me in a box and I have no idea what happened to me after that. Next thing I knew, I was in LA.

I now live in the burbs of Glendale in a little blue aquarium. I used to have a girlfriend, Yumi, but some bad things happened to her... I feel a little guilty but I couldn't help it. It's in my nature. I've been a little crabbier than usual after she died and my therapist thinks it's from the guilt. I am trying to have a happier disposition but I can't help it. I'm a crab.